Gossamer Face
A Free Verse Poem...?
A dead face reflected
On the obsidian water.
A pale sliver of moonlight.
A forbidden apple;
A tortured soul.
Gossamer whispers and
Silent screams.
The angels fear to tread
In this path of human need.
The need for pain;
The capacity to love
And to throw it all away.
Reckless desire
Confronts innocent naivete.
Lol. Yes, I was looking for opinions. Thank you. There's nothing that could be changed?
You have the vocabulary. You know something about poetry. However, what I believe you have here is a series of snapshots and then a lecture about them. As a full-time university student, you should also have known that you have redundancy in your last line: "innocent naivete." Naivete MEANS innocence, so you have said, "innocent innocence." Free verse does not mean "chaotic" verse; it should convey some meaning; it should revolve about a central core. Your words do not cohere.
Bugs the Beautician ... Again
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